The article Learning to Lie on New York News and Features makes some really compelling points in research about reasons why kids are drawn to lying, and examples that they are actually following to develop these habits.
The article goes over the basic childhood time line of lying. The child starts out young, and avoids punishment by lying about their actions, then it progresses to white-lies, which the article points out were actually initiated through parent's examples and encouragement. When a parent tells a child to put on a happy face and act like they love a present at Christmas that they really hate, that is lying. Yes, the lie may make someone feel better, but it is still a lie.
When parents encourage children to lie, they are setting them up for a life of dishonesty. The question that must be answered is: where does the line need to be drawn? Obviously we don't want kids getting gifts and screaming their outrage and hate over them, but at the same time, we don't want them lying about bigger things, like matters of safety and morality.
So the question posed by the article is: Where do children get hooked on lying? Well, lying is a stage that most children go through at some point in childhood, but they usually grow out of it through socialization. However, if they find lying works for them, or that they see others around them doing it, and succeeding, they will continue. Telling a telemarketer you don't speak English is lying. Cheating on taxes is lying. Lying is lying, plain and simple. Don't try to sugar coat something that is plain and simple as day. Children learn by example, and while things aren't always the parents fault, there is the possibility that detrimental behaviors learned by children didn't just pop out of nowhere, they started closer to home than we may think.
2 comments:
We are sinful creatures. It's scary how we often sugarcoat sin to make it seem not so bad.
It really is, thankfully, we have ways to fix ourselves, especially by having others to keep us in check.
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